mob outfit

Let me start by saying "the" outfit was hard to construct. Finding the right balance between sophisticated, age-appropriate, hip, non-matronly - - you get my drift. No Kay Unger MOB suits here, please. Nor off-the-rack Tadashi portrait blouses and coordinates with square-toed sensible "cocktail" pumps. Ugh.

So what is a trendy age 54-I-can-out-treadmill-anyone-at-incline-of-25-for-45-mins. to do?

Looked at Saks. Scoured Neimans. More than once. Nordstrom was a disaster. All of their offerings were boring, overly beaded, over-exposed: same designs, different colors.

The Bride suggested J. Crew. I balked. Then I thought, "Good enough for Michelle Obama, good enough for me." Found a beautiful, contemporary tailored navy 120 wool sheath v-necked dress, the "Carlyle," flattering and a great blank canvas. Ordered it and then bought camel Christian Louboutin "Simple" pumps, which set the stage for the jewelry. Found Alexis Bittar's amazing show-stopping gold/amber 3" stone cuff and Anthony Nak's topaz/white crystal/yellow chandelier earrings and I'm set. Not a traditional MOB boring suit but I hope, a look with personality and enduring classicism.

The moral to this story is not to settle for the mundane. Trust your instincts. Tweek tradition. You (and your look and vibe) will be more interesting for it.


custom matches rant.

C'mon. This is crazy! Who pays approx. $80 for a set of 100 (minimum order) matchboxes with "(Bride) & (Groom), a perfect match" or "(Bride) & (Groom), one hot couple," or "(Bride) & (Groom), a match made in heaven {complete with an angel icon.}" They're matches, people!

My daughter-bride is going to give travel candles in her welcome bags and we plan to provide regular, run-of-the-mill paper match books covered with handmade Japanese paper. We're covering the rim of the candle cans and their circular tops with the same paper. Quick. Cheap. Personalized.

It just takes a little bit of creativity. Plus the guests will be getting something hand-made, not mass produced by a factory.

Another plus: the matches won't nauseate your guests (see paragraph one above.)

wordless thursday

Natasha Collins' handpainted wedding cake.


two months and counting

We are under the two-month mark for my daughter's wedding, and there are still many loose ends. Venue: check. Save-the-dates: check (my daughter hand-made them and they were charming; my friends are still raving.) Wedding gown: check. (a Leila Rose!) Caterer: check. Musicians: check. Travel arrangements: check. (Except for mini-honeymoon?) Officiant: check. Guest transportation to and from venue: check. Bus has been arranged and pre-paid. Photographer: check. Invitations: half-a-check to three-fourths-of-a-check (?) I think we are almost there with the letterpress design. (The process has been difficult, to say the least. Believe what people say about working with an artiste'.) Flowers: half-a-check; we think the way-cool grow-their-own-flowers-in-the-country design team is on board. Decor: half-a-check. Working out details. Welcome bags: half-a-check. Still gathering. And I'm trying to trace/draw a map to include in the packet. Wedding cake: a fourth-of-a-check (?) Didn't like the caterer's offering. The this-is-not-a-rehearsal-dinner-although-it-is-being-held-the-night-before-the-wedding restaurant: a fourth-of-a-check. We have venue contenders. Hair/makeup: again, contenders, so fourth-of-a-check. Wedding gown shoes: Nada. Maid of honor dress & shoes: Nada. MOB dress & shoes: Nada. Venue sign: Nada. And we have to add Miscellaneous: The OMG, I didn't think of that!!: Nada.

The truth is, I'm not really anxious about how everything will get done. I know that it will. My daughter is a creative problem solver. She is hard working and detail oriented. She makes comprehensive lists, after which she surely and steadily tics off completed tasks. Her fiance is equally as industrious and competent. And when and if something unexpected comes up or if some vendor doesn't show up as planned or if we forget to deliver the whatevers to whomever in time, we'll deal.

It's going to be a beautiful celebration, and I can hardly wait.


urban dictionary: new wedding-related words in everyday vernacular

Today, thanks to finding the site http://www.urbandictionary.com/, I'm posting freshly coined wedding-related words in use in urban society. (Note: although I have edited some of these entries they do not necessarily reflect the views and/or opinions of this blog.)

Noun. The sister to a Bridezilla's mother or father. Sometimes this individual feels more powerful because she's footin' the bill.
"I thought the mother of the bride was a (expletive deleted), until I met Auntzilla."

Adj. Description for a woman who becomes obsessive and crazy over her wedding. Permutation of postal. "Hilda quit her job in order to plan her wedding. She is going bridal."

Bridal Diaper
Noun. A diaper that is used when a wedding dress is too big or complicated to easily use the bathroom. Most brides who visit bridal shops have never heard of a bridal diaper and are surprised to hear how many are sold. It seems to be something not many brides talk about but there are more in use than you would think.
Some brides use "Depends" and others use adult bed wetting diapers. Some dressmakers are making bridal diapers that match the dress and other shops sell white covers that fit over a disposable diaper.

"I'll never get this wedding gown off to use the restroom. I'll have to wear a bridal diaper."

Bridal Mania
Noun. Can be used as a politically correct version of less friendly "Bridezilla" or a phenomenon where wedding planning takes over a bride and/or groom's life and causes mood swings, arguments, a feeling of being overwhelmed and general malaise.
In response to a bride's outburst toward her groom: "What's up, Bridal Mania?"

Noun. A bride that remains calm, cool, and collected during her entire wedding experience. Bridechillas never use phrases such as "my day, the most important day of my life, don't ruin my day, etc." A Bridechilla is not defined by her wedding, rather she is likely taking part in the experience simply to have a super drunken bachelorette party. Bridechilla is an antonym of Bridezilla.

Noun. When a bride goes overboard trying to get skinny for her wedding day. (Becomes anorexic.)
"She's got a bad case of brideorexia; she bought her wedding gown two sizes too small on purpose and hasn't eaten anything but, like, raw veggies for three months." (Soon, an entire blog {with photos} will be devoted to this dangerous and wide spread phenomenon.)

Noun. A bad-ass true friend who's got the bride's back -- she's way more useful than another prissy maid in a matching dress.
"A bridesmaid might help you arrange your veil, but a bridesbitch can take down your drunk uncle when he stands up to make a speech. "

Noun. A woman who will go crazy over her wedding, stressing and running around organizing everything making sure everything is OK for her big day. A sucker for happy endings. An example of this would be anyone named "Amber."

Verb. The act of being a bridesmaid in a wedding. Or at a bridal shower. Whatever.
"Dakota: so what's up?" "Lissy: not too much, just came home from a bridal shower that I'm bridesmaiding for."

Noun. A condition in which an anal retentive bridesmaid controls the wedding party as though it were her own wedding.
"She is totally a Bridesmaidzilla - she made all the girls sit down and do the calligraphy for all the wedding invitations!"

Bridezilla (one of three definitions found)
Noun. Bridezillas are a new breed of soon-to-wed women who abuse the idea that weddings are their "day." They terrorize their bridal party and family members, make greedy demands and break all rules of etiquette, to insure that they are the single most important person on the planet from the time they are engaged to the time they are married.
"She is ordinarily a pleasant person, unless she's talking to the wedding caterers, and then she becomes a crazed Bridezilla."

Engagement (one of two definitions found, both obviously written by a man)

Noun. The state of being partway between single and married; an indefinite period of time where you plan and put off the seemingly inevitable. For a female partner, this period of time is filled with moodiness, piles of bridal magazines, and excessive showing off to her friends and family. She alternates between showering you with grateful affection and mercilessly hounding you to make sure you "truly love her". Often, the simplest question -- such as "what do you want from the grocery store?" -- provokes a fit of insecurity and accusations about you cheating on her "with that slutty stocker in aisle 9". She will also ask you peculiar and often terrifying questions, such as how many kids you want to have ("six or seven?"), in an attempt to secure certainty of your complete sincerity and fidelity. At other times, she will obsessively plan out every detail of your wedding without your explicit consent. Do not be taken aback by her behavior -- she has had practice with this since she started fantasizing about her wedding at about the age of seven. You will also often see her surrounded by other women, usually her close friends and members of her family, all weeping in joy or clamoring to see that damned expensive ring you got her. At this time, they will tend to squeal and cry at random times and speak in their own cryptic language. Warning: do not attempt to approach such a hoard of women. Such an action would not only be suicidal but also extremely stupid. See "The Darwin Awards" for accounts of such follies. For the male partner, this time is often filled with depression, anxiety, and indecision. The gravity of the situation finally sinks in, and you will find him alternating between absolute compliance to your every word and hesitant dodging of your questions. You may find him indulging in beer, coffee, ESPN, or Spike TV more than usual. His sympathetic friends may throw him a bachelor party, which will be his last chance to guiltlessly peek up another girl's skirt. Do not be taken aback by this infidelity; it will be his last breath of fresh air before you may legally and emotionally smother him for life. During your latest sexual encounter, you may also find that his left nut is missing. Do not be alarmed; that was the cost of your diamond ring. For certain couples in Massachusetts and Canada, this brief period of time will be filled with fabulous celebration. There may be little actual decision-making involved; you're obviously going to play that heart-wrenching RENT song at your wedding, you already picked out your handsome tuxedo months ago, the pink champagne's in the mail, and maybe you can even convince that sexy pool-cleaner to be your best man. Hey, can't a guy indulge a little before he ties the knot? According to Hollywood, engagement is also the time when couples are most prone to affairs, scandals, and general promiscuity. It is the default status for any hot celebrity couple, as they can afford the thousands of dollars on ten diamond rings (just to be sure) and their emotions are somehow more flexible and breakable than that of a regular couple.
"Different Scenarios of Engagement: Man #1: I'm engaged. Man #2: (Expletive deleted), man. She got you?
Woman #1: I'm engaged. Woman #2: Oh my god! Oh my god! I'm so happy for you! Have you picked out your wedding dress yet? Hang on, I've gotta call Barbara and Michelle and Jessica and Holly and.. Gay Man #1: I'm engaged. Gay Man #2: Oh god, that's so fabulous! I totally knew you two were meant to be. It's like your souls just color-coordinate, like all the time. Britney Spears: I'm engaged. General Public: Again?"

Noun. A single mother who is chosen to occupy the maid-of-honor duties of a wedding. It is a combination of matron, which indicates having dignified woman that had children from wedlock, and maid, denoting her status as single, yet still innocent.
"The service for Tara's wedding was beautiful. Ashley was the maid-tron, her little girl was the flower girl and her little boy was the ring bearer. I'm so glad her loser ex-husband is out of the picture."


Noun. Similar to a Bridezilla, a Momzilla is highly controlling of the many elements to a wedding. Everything must be perfect for her child's day. This child is often the bride, but may sometimes be the groom. The excuse for being controlling and overbearing is usually that the Momzilla has paid for a large amount of the wedding expenses. Common conflicts in which Momzilla may attack include last-minute changes to plans, guests/party members who she does not like, and the bride and groom declaring that they do not like her ideas.
"The mother-of-the-bride turned into Momzilla when her daughter said she wouldn't wear her grandmother's dress. "

Noun. The appropriate mate for Bridezilla, Groomzilla is a combination of groom and Godzilla, and describes an unreasonably demanding groom. Groomzillas rarely express themselves over the small details of the wedding ceremony and reception, preferring instead to force family members into uncomfortable situations or make vague general statements his bride must extrapolate from. Groomzilla's attacks are often seen by his bride to be personal attacks on her, her ability to get along with her future in-laws, and her ability to plan a wedding. This term is most often seen on wedding-related media, especially chat boards.
"OMG, I can't believe my Groomzilla wants me to spend six whole hours talking to his mother!

Wedding Hydra
Noun. When closing one task in planning for a wedding creates two new ones.
"Well, we booked the reception hall, but now we have to find the caterer and band and so many other things - - this is becoming a wedding hydra."

Wedding Porn
Noun. Magazines, websites, and planning books related to throwing a wedding that are concealed from the unwitting intended groom, lest he freak out.
"My boyfriend is coming down for the weekend; I'd better stash the wedding porn under the bed. "

Wedding Purgatory
Noun. A state of being somewhere between wedding heaven and wedding hell. This usually occurs when plans are not going quite as smoothly as the bride-to-be had hoped, but have not yet reached the point to where she must turn into Bridezilla to get things done.
Jessica: “Congratulations Cindy! Enjoy this time! Aren’t you so excited about your wedding?!” Future Bridezilla: “Eh – this isn’t as much fun as I thought it would be. Really, I’ve been stuck in Wedding Purgatory for a while now.”

Noun. Wedding + Etiquette = Weddiquette. The practices and rules that define socially acceptable behaviors for events and circumstances related to a wedding.
-The weddiquette convention called an "At Home" card (included with the announcement or invitation) gives the bride a mechanism to inform others that she is not changing her last name.

-If the wedding is cancelled after gifts have been received, weddiquette calls for the gifts to be returned to the givers.

Wife Expectancy
Noun. In a marriage doomed for failure, the measurement of length used primarily for betting purposes of the groom's friends.
"I can't believe he's marrying that psychopath. Wife expectancy of two years, max. "



Today in another blog (www.APracticalWedding.com), I came across this beautiful passage about marrying from "Pitching My Tent: on Marriage, Motherhood, Friendship and Other Leaps of Faith" (essays) authored by Anita Diamant ("The Red Tent," "The Last Days of Dogtown," and others.)

"Why marry? Because marriage publicly affirms the possibility of moving toward another person without reservation. With that momentum, we are propelled toward the center of the heart, toward the center of the universe, and however far that gets us is farther than we'd otherwise go alone. Why marry? Because every wedding enacts a personal connection to the universal story of the human hope for wholeness. Because by stepping into the hyperbarically charged space on the altar (in front of the priest, under the canopy), the bride and groom join in a dance that goes all the way back to the beginning of memory. Getting married is an attempt at turning air into matter, transforming the ineffable workings of the heart into things that are "real": the invitation, the dress, the ring. The words that constitute a wedding are magical incantations of the highest order. In the presence of witnesses and voiced by a vested authority, two people are pronounced a single unit. Ta-da! And by the way, the legal arguments for extending the marriage franchise to queer couples simply acknowledge that gay men and lesbians are members of the human family, complete with photographers, caterers, and the challenge of juggling Thanksgiving between two families of origin. Every wedding is an invocation of peace and wholeness and connection and joy. Good wishes flow from family and friends, through history and community, with wings and prayers and everything that might turn out to be holy in the universe. So that's why Jim and I got married --- to receive that shower of blessings, hoping with all our hearts to make them last."

Be sure to visit Anita's website here: http://www.anitadiamant.blogspot.com/.

I'm off to Amazon to order "Pitching My Tent." I want more of the above.